Dirty Washing

by The Foul

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about

A collection of rare Fall backing tracks/instrumentals with vocals and lyrics by The Foul rewritten for the now.

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released March 5, 2017

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The Foul Edinburgh, UK

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Track Name: Porn Stash
Let the sideshow begin
In Japan lived a guy
And this man was called Joji
Onanism was his bag
Till his jazz mags fought back

Ever since his balls dropped
He played till his eyes popped
Buried under for months

He was killed by porn stash, by porn stash, by porn stash
Ooh ah by porn stash, by porn stash, by porn stash

Broken back and crushed lungs
Under 6 metric tons
His family tried to be discreet
Why couldn't he just read Heat?
Track Name: 80s Embra Man
I traversed the genres like a behemoth
First I was a post punk and then I was a goth
I used to just drink Tennents, but then I turned to Grouse
But all of that collapsed when I discovered acid house

Sure I loved The Cure, I loved The Cure, I loved The Cure
Sure I went to Pure, I went to Pure, I went to Pure
Sure I can't be sure, I can't be sure, I can't be sure
Take me back to Stenhouse, take me back to Stenhousemuir

80s Embra man

When you live in Fife and your life is average
You have to fill your empty twenties going o'er the bridge
You join a gang and hoover up anything you find
Before you know it, a decade's gone and you have lost your mind
Track Name: Aurora Borealis Through The Looking Glass
They're lying in the hospital
They're lying in the press
They're lying on their backs screaming yes yes yes
They're lying to protect themselves
They're lying to pretend
They're dying for a break
Dying for the weekend

Everyone looks up and gasps
Swirling colours, swirling gas
The sky at night shall come to pass
Aurora Borealis Through The Looking Glass

Planet gazing - a new way of seeing
Brian Cox, Dara O'Brian
Looking through Gary Numan's eyes
A popular science TV franchise

A race to the bottom and the top of the class
Aurora Borealis Through The Looking Glass

Everyone looks up and gasps
Swirling colours, swirling gas
The sky at night shall come to pass
Aurora Borealis Through The Looking Glass

Everyone looks up and gasps
Swirling colours, swirling gas
The sky at night shall come to pass
Aurora Borealis Through The Looking Glass

They're lying in the hospital
They're lying in the press
They're lying on their backs screaming yes yes yes
They're lying to protect themselves
They're lying to pretend
They're dying for a break
Dying for the weekend

A race to the bottom and the top of the class
Aurora Borealis Through The Looking Glass

Aurora Borealis Through The Looking Glass
Aurora Borealis Through The Looking Glass
Aurora Borealis Through The Looking Glass
Track Name: Here Come The Whips
Jewemy stole my hole punch
He's vewy vewy bad
If he goes near my stapler
I'm gonny phone ma dad

He's ruining the party
He's pissing on the trifles
He's spitting in the Eton Mess
And singing Eton Rifles

He's shredding video cassettes
Behind the filing cabinets
Look out for the reds
Underneath your spread......sheets

chorus
Oh here come the Whips
Here come the Whips
Here come the Whips
Hide yer paper clips

Oh Jeremy - the enemy within
The meeeja's tellin me he's Joseph Stalin
The PLP, MI5 and MI6
Are all sharpening their ice picks

But he's not so much a Trotskyite
He couldn't set a ballot box alight
Ours is not to reason why
The Scottish branch will just comply

chorus

I don't want to labour the point
But what's the point of Labour?
Putting tories out of joint
Or doing them a favour?

His heart is in the right place
Just under his ribs
He speaks an ancient language
While May spouts gibberish

chorus

Jewemy came to Scotland
And tried to drink Irn Bru
I saw him with Kez Dugdale
They haven't got a clue

He irks the oiks and tories
And all points inbetween
His brain is hanging upside down
In the 20th century

Oh here come the Whips
A three line whip
Here come the Whips
Get a fucking grip

here come the Whips
here come the Whips
here come the Whips
here come the Whips
Track Name: Hit The Nazi
I'm punching Nazis for Jesus,
It's what he would have wanted to see
I don't need to read a moral thesis
Just a thumbs up from Calvary

Hit the nazi!

I've tried singing My Way,
And singing Trump is a cunt,
But people just look at me,
And say it's a publicity stunt.

I'm punching Nazis for Jesus,
Thanks to Janey Godley,
I'm punching Nazis for Jesus,
It's the only thing for me.

Hit the nazi!

An immigrant lass, loved an American tycoon
They spawned a monster and very very soon
A new right altercation squad were the new goons
We're walking backwards through history so
I'm punching Nazis for Jesus,
Wallop - right off the cheekbones,
I'm punching Nazis for Jesus,
Just like Indiana Jones.

Hit the nazi
Track Name: Bagpipe Music
by Louis MacNiece

It's no go the merrygoround, it's no go the rickshaw,
All we want is a limousine and a ticket for the peepshow.
Their knickers are made of crepe-de-chine, their shoes are made of python,
Their halls are lined with tiger rugs and their walls with head of bison.

John MacDonald found a corpse, put it under the sofa,
Waited till it came to life and hit it with a poker,
Sold its eyes for souvenirs, sold its blood for whiskey,
Kept its bones for dumbbells to use when he was fifty.

It's no go the Yogi-man, it's no go Blavatsky,
All we want is a bank balance and a bit of skirt in a taxi.

Annie MacDougall went to milk, caught her foot in the heather,
Woke to hear a dance record playing of Old Vienna.
It's no go your maidenheads, it's no go your culture,
All we want is a Dunlop tire and the devil mend the puncture.

The Laird o' Phelps spent Hogmanay declaring he was sober,
Counted his feet to prove the fact and found he had one foot over.
Mrs. Carmichael had her fifth, looked at the job with repulsion,
Said to the midwife "Take it away; I'm through with overproduction."

It's no go the gossip column, it's no go the Ceilidh,
All we want is a mother's help and a sugar-stick for the baby.

Willie Murray cut his thumb, couldn't count the damage,
Took the hide of an Ayrshire cow and used it for a bandage.
His brother caught three hundred cran when the seas were lavish,
Threw the bleeders back in the sea and went upon the parish.

It's no go the Herring Board, it's no go the Bible,
All we want is a packet of fags when our hands are idle.

It's no go the picture palace, it's no go the stadium,
It's no go the country cot with a pot of pink geraniums,
It's no go the Government grants, it's no go the elections,
Sit on your arse for fifty years and hang your hat on a pension.

It's no go my honey love, it's no go my poppet;
Work your hands from day to day, the winds will blow the profit.
The glass is falling hour by hour, the glass will fall forever,
But if you break the bloody glass you won't hold up the weather.
Track Name: The Endarkenment
Libraries close and the food banks increase
And a diet of sugar makes more kids obese
They're shutting down culture with less art degrees
If you want to look up, first get down on your knees
The Endarkenment's harvesting souls
The Endarkenment's harvesting souls
The Endarkenment's harvesting souls
The Endarkenment's harvesting souls

They're drawing the blinds on a bright summer's day
Closing minds and art galleries
You have to stay insular, stay in and cosy
Any dissent is dismissed as conspiracy
The Endarkenment's harvesting souls

On Cherry Tree Lane, the Banks check their overdraft, a
drunk man looks at Mary Poppins and laughter
Raises Hugh MacDiarmid to the rafters
Whaur extremes meet, that's where you'll find me hereafter
The Endarkenment's harvesting souls
The Endarkenment's harvesting souls
The Endarkenment's harvesting souls
The Endarkenment's harvesting souls

Hugh cries Mary, Come down from the ceiling
We must obey gravity, ignore feeling
We are the banks, we don't do freewheeling
Let us caress you, let us do the healing
We're collectively losing control but don't care
We don't read poets' words, we just laugh at their hair
The nanny who fell to Earth will be there
Carry on up the bannister
Carry on up the bannister
Carry on up the bannister
Carry on up the bannister
The Endarkenment's harvesting souls
The Endarkenment's harvesting souls
The Endarkenment's harvesting souls
Track Name: Comedians Obedience Class
I died on stage last night - it really was abysmal
My case has been referred to the procurator fiscal

I'm going to the comedy school
where they teach the comedy rules
Learn to move the mic stand clear
And say 'I'm here all week - try the beer'

Help ma boab, it's such a laugh
At the comedians obedience class

Introduce yourself as a lookalikey
Or the love child of two celebrities

then I got off the bus

ever noticed how
observation's very 'now'

are we well?
who can tell?
Is this thing on?
where you from?
what do you do?

I'm going to the comedy school
where they teach the comedy rules
Learn to move the mic stand clear
And say 'I'm here all week - try the beer'

where do you go to hack comic
when you're alone in your bed
tell me the heckles that haunt you
the ones that get inside your head
and your heart
and your soul
oh oh oh
knee deep in needy
balls deep in seedy
Track Name: Born Wealthy
Wig boy wall boy
Dirty numb torture boy
Special relationship
She was a Tory boy
She was a Thatcher boy
Brexit boy
Theresa Appeaser boy
You had
plans girl boy
and steel boy
You had chemicals boy
You've grown so close to him
Boy and you just groan boy
combover combover
combover combover
She smiled at you boy

Let your feelings slip boy
But never your mask boy
Random blonde bio high density rhythm
Blonde boy blonde country blonde high density
You are my drug boy
You're real boy
Speak to me and boy dog
Dirty numb fracking boy
You get wet boy
Big big time boy
Acid bear boy
Taxes taxes taxes taxes tax
And remembering nothing boy
You like my tin quaich boy
and get wet like an angel
Derail

You got a velvet mouth
You're so succulent and beautiful
Shimmering and dirty
Wonderful and hot times
On your telephone line
And god and everything
On your telephone
And in walk an angel

And look at me your mom
Talking piss to the jams
hole at westminster
I just come out the shit
Talking to the most
Blonde I ever met
Shouting
Aga Aga Aga Aga
Shouting
Aga Aga Aga Aga
Shouting...
Aga Aga Aga
Shouting
Smeg Smeg white thing
Smeg Smeg white thing
Smeg Smeg white thing
Smeg Smeg
Shouting Aga Aga Aga Aga
Smeg Smeg white thing
Smeg Smeg white thing
So many things to see and do
In the Fox hole true
Blonde foreign secretary
Smeg Smeg Smeg going back to Romford
Hi mom are you having fun
And now are you on your way
To a new tension headache
Track Name: Hell
Running
Running for the bus
Running for the bus in the rain
Running for the bus in the rain in the morning
Running for the bus in the rain in the morning in the dark

Hell
Hell
Hell
Hell
Everyday
Everyday

Running for the bus in the rain in the morning in the dark and falling
Running for the bus in the rain in the morning in the dark and falling and missing the bus
Running for the bus in the rain in the morning in the dark and falling and missing the bus and seeing the people on the bus

Hell Everyday
Everyday

Running for the bus in the rain in the morning in the dark and falling and missing the bus and seeing the people on the bus laughing


Hell
Hell
Hell
Hell
Every...day
Everyday
Hell
Track Name: An Englishman On Leith Walk
I'm a foreigner from over the border
And I call all Scotsmen Jock
Now I'm on the wildest street in Edinburgh
I don't eat meat and I hate modern pomp rock

That's right
I'm a vegetarian
I don't like Kasabian
I'm an Englishman on Leith Walk
Oh I'm a mamallian
Born of a caeserian
I'm an Englishman on Leith Walk
Oh I'm not sectarian
But I don't like Romanians
I'm an Englishman on Leith Walk
Oh oh I'm an aryan
My Royal Family are Hanoverians
I'm an Englishman on Leith Walk